I learned a new word today. Saudade. It doesn't have a direct equivalent in English. JASMINE GARSD says "The concept has many definitions, including a melancholy nostalgia for something that perhaps has not even happened.
It often carries an assurance that this thing you feel nostalgic for will never happen again.
My favorite definition of saudade is by Portuguese writer Manuel de Melo: "a pleasure you suffer, an ailment you enjoy.""
I like that word. When I was young I couldn't have understood it, but now I do.